As comrade Kapil Mohan bids adieu, an ode to the Old Monk

The man behind the iconic ‘Old Monk’ rum, Kapil Mohan, passed away on Saturday. Mohan was the chairman of Mohan Meakin Ltd which makes and bottles the once-largest selling dark rum in the world.

A partner for every desolate soul, the first bottle for teenage tipplers, the first sip suckled from its rim by delectable lips of a young maiden, the reach-out-drink in every north Indian winter and the only booze for every broke hosteller, Old Monk dark rum is the spirit of an immortal oasis in a desert called life.

In all its measurability in terms of quarter, half and full, Old Monk can be drunk in every situation and circumstances. For a lonely loyalist sitting idly in a bar or with fellow circle of friends in a high-end lounge, this seasoned high spirit made from molasses elbows almost every other sought-after-names in the game of high spirits.

American Captain Morgan, with its once spiced-laced flavour, tried to slip the old dark horse from the shelves of brightly lit ‘Wine Shops’ or dim lit ‘thekas’ but never did once the pirate rum lord tried to fathom the deep loyal reach of the lips of every Old Monk drinker. The spiced rum crashed its pirate ship at the rock of Gibraltar amidst the ocean of high spirit.

Belly bottled and simple rimmed, and even available in mundane plastic, the Monk sits majestically along with comrades from Russia, France, and the UK and even from Germany. Fellow Indian brand mates sure get fetched but the monk takes time to be in the warm hands of an alcoholic from the dusty shelves.

Easy on the wallet but a full total with results depending upon its consumption, the monk is pandered by worn out journalists or a sleaze ball dreaming to tickle the clitoris of his favourite prey. The end game of a binge drinking session with the monk as a point of consumption can be abided by principles of solidarity or with ironic bitterness juiced from trampled sugarcane stemmed from fretted out human spite.

Twisting Sinatra’s immortal lines, ‘Old Monk may be man’s worst enemy but the Bible says love your enemy.’

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